That’s where I’M going in another 2 hours as a birthday gift to myself….YAY!
1. Uhhhhhh….is that fungus on your hand?
2. Periodic screams of joy.
3. I got some ocean front property in Arizona.
4. Stop you manical hee-hawing and try to relax.
5. Raising her well-manicured eyebrow….
6. A biker chick, a deranged Polish man with kaleidoscope eyes and some floozy from Hoboken.
7. I NEVER have and that’s a fact.
8. MattBaby strolled in and caused a stampede of frenzied females.
9. Tangerine trees and marmalade skies.
10. I just screamed at a totally innocent Hungarian.
THE MASSAGE THERAPIST
“Hee Haw! and Hot Diggity!” …. PERIODIC SCREAMS OF JOY kept escaping from Sunshine’s lips as she contemplated her future as a Massage Therapist and her new life in Arizona. She had just completed her online training, and now had her license from the Doogie Howser School of Massage Therapy to hang on the wall.
“What more could a cowgirl like me want??" mused Sunshine to herself…… "MattBaby, TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES….. Hee Haw!! ….. Heck! I may even plant some orange, grapefruit and lemon trees on my new beachfront property in Arizona.”
Just then, Sunshine’s telephone rang. It was her friend, Silva, calling. “Oh, Silva, I have so much to tell you,” Sunshine said to Silva happily, in her tinkly ‘Glinda the Good Witch’ voice. “MattBaby and I are moving to Arizona in a few weeks. I GOT SOME OCEAN FRONT PROPERTY IN ARIZONA.”
“Did you buy that ocean front property online?” asked Silva thinking, ‘Sunshine has finally lost it this time!’ …. Without waiting for an answer she asked, “Tell me, Sunshine, have you ever been to Arizona?”
“I NEVER HAVE AND THAT’S A FACT,” Sunshine replied matter-of-factly. “Why do you ask?” ….. “Um, well…..Your property might be just a little bit further from the ocean than you were led to believe,” explained Silva in as gentle a way as she knew how.
“Nonsense! I was assured by the seller on eBay that it was just a few steps from the ocean,” Sunshine replied indignantly. “Maybe, if you are Paul Bunyan,” replied Silva, with a slight chuckle. “I’m afraid mere mortals, such as you and me, would have to drive several hours to hang 10 on our surfboards. The ocean is next to California—not Arizona.”
“Hee Haw!!” …. “Hee Haw!!” ….. Sunshine sputtered, aghast at Silva’s words….. “STOP YOUR MANIACAL HEE-HAWING, AND TRY TO RELAX!” directed Silva in a soothing tone of voice. “Think about living with MattBaby in Arizona…..or anywhere….. You don’t need beachfront property to be happy as a clam.”
Sunshine brightened at the prospect of getting a tan with no strap lines, if you know what I mean, and MattBaby rubbing suntan lotion all over her body. “You, are right!” replied Sunshine. “I feel better already. You always know the right thing to say.”
“There’s more news!” continued Sunshine, excitedly. “I also just received my certificate that proves I am a licensed massage therapist."
“Well, you must be pretty good at it by now,” replied Silva. “You’ve been practicing on Matt for years.”
“As a matter of fact, I’ve had three paying clients already, I’ll have you know —A BIKER CHICK, A DERANGED POLISH MAN WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES AND SOME FLOOZY FROM HOBOKEN,” Sunshine said to Silva enthusiastically. “I ran a small ad on ‘Craig’s List’ and the customers just seem to keep crawling out of the woodwork.”
“Ding Dong!!” rang Sunshine’s doorbell. ♫ “Uh! Oh! Gotta go,” ♫ Sunshine sang out merrily. “It must be my next appointment, a Hungarian woman, named Zsa Zsa Gaborski!”
“Welcome, Miss Gaborski, I’m all ready for you,” said Sunshine with a smile, as she opened her front door. "Just call me Sunshine. Is it OK if I call you Zsa Zsa?”
RAISING HER WELL-MANICURED EYEBROW, the glamorous Miss Gaborski replied, “Before we go any further, I must ask you……UHHHHHH,,,,IS THAT FUNGUS ON YOUR HAND?”
Looking at her hand, Sunshine laughed and said, “Nah! That’s just some spinach left over from lunch! Do I have any on my teeth?"
Glinda the Good Witch….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyBpZwGWAM&feature=related
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Ok here goes…just for fun
I walked into the waiting room of my massage therapists office and was startled to see a biker chick, a deranged Polish man with kaleidoscope eyes, and a floozy from Hoboken all waiting for their appointments. I sat for what seemed like forever and was finally called back for my appointment. When I walked in my massage therapist raised her well-manicured eyebrow at me and asked me why my eyes were so puffy and red. I confessed that my boyfriend had just broke up with me and I was stressed out. She began to knead her fingers into my back and I screamed out in surprise at the initial pain I felt. She yelled "Stop your manical hee-hawing and try to relax!" I became so relaxed after 20 minutes of my intense massage that I started dreaming of tangerine trees and marmalade skies. I had just screamed at a totally innocent Hungarian in my dream when my therapist awoke me and signaled that my massage was over. Just as I had gotten up I realized she had something weird on her hand. I yelped and asked, "Uhhhhhh…is that fungus on your hand?". She laughed and said "No, its paint. I bought some ocean front property in Arizona and I am renovating the place!" After I realized it was not fungus I had periodic screams of joy in my mind and was relieved. I decided she was lying after the fact and vowed never to back to that therapist. I NEVER have and that’s a fact.
References :
THE MASSAGE THERAPIST
“Hee Haw! and Hot Diggity!” …. PERIODIC SCREAMS OF JOY kept escaping from Sunshine’s lips as she contemplated her future as a Massage Therapist and her new life in Arizona. She had just completed her online training, and now had her license from the Doogie Howser School of Massage Therapy to hang on the wall.
“What more could a cowgirl like me want??" mused Sunshine to herself…… "MattBaby, TANGERINE TREES AND MARMALADE SKIES….. Hee Haw!! ….. Heck! I may even plant some orange, grapefruit and lemon trees on my new beachfront property in Arizona.”
Just then, Sunshine’s telephone rang. It was her friend, Silva, calling. “Oh, Silva, I have so much to tell you,” Sunshine said to Silva happily, in her tinkly ‘Glinda the Good Witch’ voice. “MattBaby and I are moving to Arizona in a few weeks. I GOT SOME OCEAN FRONT PROPERTY IN ARIZONA.”
“Did you buy that ocean front property online?” asked Silva thinking, ‘Sunshine has finally lost it this time!’ …. Without waiting for an answer she asked, “Tell me, Sunshine, have you ever been to Arizona?”
“I NEVER HAVE AND THAT’S A FACT,” Sunshine replied matter-of-factly. “Why do you ask?” ….. “Um, well…..Your property might be just a little bit further from the ocean than you were led to believe,” explained Silva in as gentle a way as she knew how.
“Nonsense! I was assured by the seller on eBay that it was just a few steps from the ocean,” Sunshine replied indignantly. “Maybe, if you are Paul Bunyan,” replied Silva, with a slight chuckle. “I’m afraid mere mortals, such as you and me, would have to drive several hours to hang 10 on our surfboards. The ocean is next to California—not Arizona.”
“Hee Haw!!” …. “Hee Haw!!” ….. Sunshine sputtered, aghast at Silva’s words….. “STOP YOUR MANIACAL HEE-HAWING, AND TRY TO RELAX!” directed Silva in a soothing tone of voice. “Think about living with MattBaby in Arizona…..or anywhere….. You don’t need beachfront property to be happy as a clam.”
Sunshine brightened at the prospect of getting a tan with no strap lines, if you know what I mean, and MattBaby rubbing suntan lotion all over her body. “You, are right!” replied Sunshine. “I feel better already. You always know the right thing to say.”
“There’s more news!” continued Sunshine, excitedly. “I also just received my certificate that proves I am a licensed massage therapist."
“Well, you must be pretty good at it by now,” replied Silva. “You’ve been practicing on Matt for years.”
“As a matter of fact, I’ve had three paying clients already, I’ll have you know —A BIKER CHICK, A DERANGED POLISH MAN WITH KALEIDOSCOPE EYES AND SOME FLOOZY FROM HOBOKEN,” Sunshine said to Silva enthusiastically. “I ran a small ad on ‘Craig’s List’ and the customers just seem to keep crawling out of the woodwork.”
“Ding Dong!!” rang Sunshine’s doorbell. ♫ “Uh! Oh! Gotta go,” ♫ Sunshine sang out merrily. “It must be my next appointment, a Hungarian woman, named Zsa Zsa Gaborski!”
“Welcome, Miss Gaborski, I’m all ready for you,” said Sunshine with a smile, as she opened her front door. "Just call me Sunshine. Is it OK if I call you Zsa Zsa?”
RAISING HER WELL-MANICURED EYEBROW, the glamorous Miss Gaborski replied, “Before we go any further, I must ask you……UHHHHHH,,,,IS THAT FUNGUS ON YOUR HAND?”
Looking at her hand, Sunshine laughed and said, “Nah! That’s just some spinach left over from lunch! Do I have any on my teeth?"
Glinda the Good Witch….. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyBpZwGWAM&feature=related
References :
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,9
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